In my experience, the real victims of domestic violence are terrified to apply for a restraining order.  In every case in which I represented a real domestic violence victim, it was only after digging deep into the history and asking questions, that I learned that my client was a victim of domestic violence.  Then, I had to spend a great deal of time helping them be willing to stand for themselves and defend themselves through a domestic violence restraining order.

There were also cases where a potential client was adamant that she was abused and needs a domestic violence restraining order.  After questioning and getting deep into what they really want, I discovered that they really wanted vengeance, not protection.  In those cases, I declined to represent them.

There are spouses who are angry and vengeful and claim adamantly that they have been abused and demand a restraining order.  In most of those cases, they are abusers themselves.

Whether someone is a real victim or using the domestic violence restraining order to abuse a spouse, the requirement and threshold is the same.

It is not hard to obtain a temporary restraining order.  After three weeks there will be a hearing.  In most cases of real domestic violence, a permanent restraining order is granted.  However, only a few cases of pretend victims are dismissed.

Unless the falsely accused spouse has a great experienced trial attorney, it is very difficult to win a restraining order brought against you.

Therefore, if you are a victim of domestic violence, you must get an attorney and act.  Otherwise, it is likely that they will use the court system to abuse you.

A batterer cannot be a batterer without a victim.  If you have been a victim for many years, it may take everything you got to have the courage to stand up for yourself.  It is necessary for you to stand up for yourself and your protection to stop the cycle of violence.

When you have drawn the boundary of respect, you can forgive to gain your real freedom.